FORTRESS

More than a year ago, I and my classmates were asked by our teacher to describe each of our classmates. We wrote our descriptions in a small strips of paper and then gave it to the person we described.  There were many adjectives describing me that came out but most wrote approachable, friendly, natural, intelligent and sincere. I was happy scanning the strips of paper, realizing how my classmates were seeing me, but as I was doing it, I came across to a strip which said “FORTRESS”. A fortress ? I asked myself. This isn’t an adjective. This is a noun. I was confused, but what did strike me most was the word itself. I knew what the meaning of a fortress was and I knew that the word didn’t suit me. It flattered me of course knowing that someone saw me as a strong person, something impenetrable...something that protects a village.

Confounded, I searched for the person who wrote it. I found out who it was. It was Jay, who was the most profound among my classmates, the most observant and the most God-fearing. The fact that jay wrote it made me more flattered. I knew he mean it – that he didn’t simply wrote it just so he could write something.

I went to him and asked him why he wrote it. He simply looked at me and said that I knew the reason and simply pretending I did not understand. I didn’t ask further questions.

For months, I believed that I am a fortress – strong, impenetrable and protective.  Yes, I was. I believed so.

But 15 months later, I think, I am not a fortress anymore. I am weak.  I cry easily over petty things. I easily give up and easily give in. The fortress, who is now facing the world of work, has realized that the real world is much much bigger than the university world. She feels broken, like a wall shooed by a thundering storm. But she is picking her pieces again and hopefully, she prays, that she’ll be able to stand tall again after she redeemed herself, through God’s help of course.:-)

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