Some of my exams were already checked. And I passed them, though I almost failed. In other words, yung mga score ko ay pasang-awa. You might say that I did not study but that isn’t true. I did study. I did read my notes a lot of time before I took the examinations. However, they did not sink in my head. It is because I was preoccupied with many thoughts and I was too tired. That even in the multiple choice exams, which most of the time I find easier than essays or enumeration type, I flunked. Even my mi-ni-mi-ni-may-ni-mo.-alin-ba-dito-ang-sagot-ito-ba-o-ito... powers or may pachamba powers did not work.
I have said that the reason for almost failing my exams were I was tired and I am preoccupied. I was tired of doing my projects that were due the same week of our midterm and preparing many things for the election. I was preoccupied, on the other hand, of the thought if whether I have made the right decisions during the days prior to the exam week.
For those who don’t know, you see, matters of consequences have made me choose between writing and other leadership. Although, if only I could choose both I would do that. But as I have said I was pushed by many things to choose only one.
What had happened was actually this: It was summer break when a friend of mine was asking if I would like to run as our Student Government Senator - under her line-up of course. I asked my father about this matter and he said he wouldn’t want me to. My family disagreed, too. They said they wanted me to focus on my study. Although, I really wanted to run I decided not to. I didn’t want to get reprimanded, if ever I won, by my parents and be told by them “I told you so.” That is if someday I would go home late or fail one of my subjects because lots of my times are being eaten up by my responsibility as a student leader.
Weeks before first day of school, I was asked by another friend, who also was aspiring for president, if I would like to run under his line-up - as one of the executive this time. I refused. I told him my parents didn’t like. He asked me if I could ask my parents again. I said I would. I did, just so to be true to my promise. And my father said yes. I was surprised. And because of that I have been apprehensive of the two options – to run or not to run. You see I have told the first one that I wouldn’t run. After long period of thinking, I decided I would run with his line up since I have heard the line-up of the other party was already complete. (Note: the first one to ask me is a she; the second one was a he).
Before the campaign, announcements were posed that our college publication, “The Glimpse” was looking for writer and artists. Its staff had graduated and there were no one who would be bequeathed by the thrones. The new adviser said to me that I should take the exam. And if I understood it right, he and other faculty members would like me to be the Editor-in-Chief. I’d like to be one of the writer, not E-I-C, of the publication so I took a form and filled it out.
Now here came the conflict. The day of examination for the aspiring writers was also the first day of the campaign for the election and it is also the day before our NSTP-Literary Training Service class (where we were required to conduct a seminar, that if we failed to do so we would have no grade for midterm. In other words, we might flunk the subject.) But I was persistent; I prepared a time-table for that day. I was confident I could follow it, since my group mates in my NSTP_LTS were, I believed, responsible enough to have an initiative of organizing the seminar we will conduct. I also thought that our room-to-room campaign would start on time. But I was wrong. Lots of irresponsibility and many things happened. My time-table messed up. I was able to campaign, yes. But I wasn’t able to take the examination for the writers because I had to help two (of my six group mates) in preparing things for the seminar we would conduct. You see, only two were working so I had to help.
I love to write. And as I have said in one of my past article, it is one way of freely expressing me. But I gave up one opportunity that will make me able to do it. And I regretted it. I felt a little down.
That was one reason why I wasn’t able to concentrate in reviewing for my exams. Thoughts like these ran in my mind: If I did not run, I probably had more time for my NSTP-LTS. I would have been able to take the “The Glimpse” Exam. I would also more time to rest and also to review for my mid-term. (Since I wasn’t able to prepare myself well for the exam because I had to campaign and help my Party-mates to make campaign materials). My time would not also be messed up. I would also have enough time to make my projects.
Although, I have regrets I do not forget that everything happens for reasons Probably, God planned everything because He knows I have too much responsibility. And That I might not be able to handle and to perform those. He knows I also need time to rest and to serve him too.
The election was yesterday. I will have my oath-taking today meaning, thanks to heaven, I won. I am glad because if did not, baka manghinayang ako na hindi ako nkapagtake ng exam for our student publication.
Pero naisip ko , I still have my blog pa pala where I can still write.
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