Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts

Monday, February 20, 2012

A Teacher's Valentine's Day

My life, since I have become a teacher, has been full of surprises.  Each day has always been full of discoveries - discoveries about my students and about myself also. Last Valentine's Day was no exemption. I just went to school without expecting anything special to happen because I didn't have any special someone at all. I wasn't also expecting any gift from students since I am not an adviser. (It was usually the advisers who receive gifts from students when there is an occasion.) I  am also not a popular teacher. I was just hired by the school this school year, so it goes to show the closeness I have today with my students is incomparable with the years of closeness with their old-time teachers.

So there the day went on. Nothing extraordinary happened.  In the evening, during the JS Promenade, the night also just passed without something special happening.

The next day came.While,everyone(except me) in the Faculty room were excitingly browsing and uploading their pictures in Facebook and I sat on my table making a lesson plan, a girl student of mine from my English-First Year class went straight to my table. She was holding in her hands a Heart stuff with a very small stuff toy and a card that says "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MA'AM PABLICO". I was so happy because it was unexpected. I told her "THANK YOU!", but she said it wasn't from her and left. I looked at the card and saw the name of the giver. It was from my most hyperactive student "Howard". I smiled.

 Howard is one of those students who always test my patience. He is the one to whom I always say "Keep Quiet" or "Stay on your sit." or "I am getting impatient already so stop". Before that day, I have this thought that he, perhaps, hated me a lot already, but as I have said the life of a teacher is full of surprises and discoveries. And on that day I learned that Howard does not hate me despite the fact that I always reprimand him and that he understands why I am always mad at him. 

You may say that I am so shallow for being so sentimental about this, but you see it is my first valentine gift from a student and the student who gave me the gift made it extra-special. It was so special that I even posted this pic on facebook with a note that says "Of all the people...ang batang lagi ko pang pinapagalitan ang magbibigay ng valentine stuff sa akin...:).."(Of all the people I know, I never thought that the student, to whom I am always mad at will be the one to give me a valentine stuff):


The post got lots of comments.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Romantic Quotes from Movies


It's love month! I can't help myself from writing a "hearty"article,but I've never been really in love with real person.Yet, I always fell in love with fictional characters in movies.Sometimes, those characters even make me wish like they were for real and sometimes make me pray that I will meet someone like them someday. I think the experience wasn't unique. I know you sometimes feel the same also.Remember when every girls in the world wished to be bitten by a vampire? That was when Edward became alive in movie screen.The guys would even borrow Edward's swooning  lines in the movie. 


Speaking of swooning lines, here are some of the lines from the movies I've watched which made me wish to fall in love instantly.

Our love is like the wind... I  can't see it, but I sure can feel it.-Landon Carter 
       
“Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.” – Jack Dawson









So it's not gonna be easy. It's  going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of  you, forever, everyday. You and  me... everyday. -Noah


Look, I guarantee there’ll be tough  times. I guarantee that at  some time, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of  this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine,  I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, because  I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me. -Maggie and Ike
Sometimes you have to be apart  from the people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less.Sometimes it makes you love them more.  -Steve Miller
Jenny, I don't know if Momma was right or if, if it's Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. -Forrest Gump








Even more, I had never meant to  love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my  bones, knew it from the crown of  my head to the  oles of my feet,  knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the  power to break you. I'd been broken beyond repair."- Bella



Evelyn, loving you kept me alive. I should have died over there. When I was in that water, I made a deal with God. I told him I was sorry. I was a fool for leavin’ you and I told him I would never ask for anything again if I could just see you. And you know what? It was worth it. You kept me alive Evelyn, you brought me home. So I’m gonna stand by my end of the deal, I’m gonna walk away. And I won’t ask you for anything.-Rafe
You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life. But you made a mistake. Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You’re the girl of my dreams… and apparently, I’m the man of yours.-Henry
I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.-Arwen
I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.-Harry
Whoa!!Who wouldn't fall in love when you here those catchy lines.

What about you guys?What are your favorite romantic lines from movies?Share it!:-)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Hope List

The year has just begun. And I am the happiest person in the world because of that fact.I started the year with changes  in myself, not a drastic change though. I had a haircut!That's it!!It's just my way to remove all the negative vibes I got last year.Like my hair had something to do with my bad luck..LOL! But having new hairstyle for new year seems to give me a fresh start, fresh outlook and fresh feeling. Honestly, I felt like I died last year and I am going to resurrect this year.

Whoops, I think I am loosing track 'cause this entry will not focus in my new look. This will be about my aspirations and goals for this year. I did not entitled it WISH LIST because everybody of us(most especially the English teachers) know that we use "wish" when we ask for things that are impossible to happen.  Hope, on the otherwise, is use when what you ask for is more likely to happen. I believe I'll manage to realize all of my aspirations and hope this year. With God's help, of course!:)

This are my hopes for this year:

1.Go oversees... I want to go abroad for a vacation, but it will be really great if I'd go there to study. I hope someone will offer me a scholarship.I'd surely grab it!
2. Travel... Almost the same with my first hope...but this more of traveling within the boundary of my country and that is Philippines. This year, I want to go to Boracay, Davao, Bohol or Cebu City.It will be better if I'd  travel with my family.
3.Ipad... I want it badly!!!but my salary is just enough to be spent for my basic needs.
4. DSLR CAMERA...to capture my worth-keeping memories of my life. I love pictures really 'cause I'm really a visual person.
5. Be regular public school teacher...You know, I'm not totally hired yet.
6. HEALTH...no explanations needed.  :p
7.Become a writer... I'll write two novels this year and publish it in wattpad.com
8. Learn to Bake...
9. Learn Korean or Japanese... I plan to enroll to one free Korean/Japanese Language and culture lessons offered by TESDA. 
10. 8,000 views... for this blog of mine.
11.50,000... that's the amount of money I want to have in my saving's account this year. It's for security reason. Like when you needed money in case of emergency. I know how small my salary is but there's is no harm in hoping.I'd just probably to be stingy three-times than I am today or be regular a regular teacher so to have higher salary.
12. ZIP LINE... I want to try it. I think it will be really exciting. We have lots of it here in Puerto Princesa. I tried one but I want to try the higher one.

It's not too much right?



HAPPY 2012 everyone.:)


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Bagong Taon

Kay tagal kong hinintay na dumating ang panahong ito. Sobrang nainip nga ako eh. 'Yong tipong kung pwede lang ay hilain ko na ang araw at buwan para umikot ng dirediretso. Nakakapagod kasi ang taon na 'to. Dagdag pa ang sandamakmak na kamalasan na di ko man sinalo ay tila hinabol naman ako.Ewan nga ba kung ano ba ang dahilan nun. Siguro ako rin mismo. Sobra ata ang "negativism" ko ngayong taon.  Medyo nawala ang pagiging optimismo. Matanda na nga siguro ako kasi naubos na ang pagiging ideyalismo ko. Pero di bale, matatapos na din naman ang taon. At sobrang masaya ako. Di ko man alam ang naghihintay sa akin sa taong 2012, mas papangit ba ang taon ko o gaganda, bahala na si Lord. Basta ang mahalaga ay 'yong tinatawag nila na bagong simula. Gusto ko ng bagong taon na punong-puno ng pagbabago. Bago nga eh!

Alam kong alam mo na ang iniisip ko. New Years Resolution.Tumpak!Pero kailangan pa ba? Eh di ba magugunaw na rin naman ang mundo.Di bale. Kung totoo man 'yon ay
11 months pa naman bago mangyari. Kaya hayaan niyo na akong sabihin ang resolutions ko.

1.di na ko masyado magiging reklamador. kung tiis-tiis dati mas tiis tiis ngayon.
2. di na ko masyado gagamit ng computer. lalo na facebook.
3. ma-iisip na ko lagi.di na ako magiging reactive. magiging responsive na ako.
4. magsisipag na ako sa bahay
5. magbabasa na lagi.
6. iiwas sa gulo
7. di mag seself-pity
8. magiging kuntento na sa kng anong meron
9. magtitipid
10.magiging masayahin na ulit
11.magdidiet ng maayos
12.exercise to da max
13.magte-take ng time to enjoy my friends' company
14. magiging palaban pero marunong makisama
15. di magtatanim ng sama ng loob
16. di na makakalimot magdasal bago matulog

Medyo madami pero kaya yan.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Twenty-one

These past few days, I had been having a hard time remembering how old I am. When filling out forms or talking to my students, parents of my students, there’s always an inevitable six-second lag before I figure out the answer. I even have to count the no. of years passed from the day I was born (that is 1990) up to this year. I find this unusual because as a child and a teenager, I always knew my age. You could ask for it while I am in front of the computer screen, or watching TV, and I would instantaneously blurt out the answer. Five. Twelve. Seventeen.
Now, when asked about my age, there would always be an impulse to self-restraint before I answer “twenty-one”.  My answer will be superseded by my question to myself “Ilan taon na nga ba ako?”.
            I don’t know what the problem is. Perhaps it is because I can see myself too different from the way I used to be. You see, too many things have changed in just a small period of time. A year ago, in January, I was just having my practice teaching in one of the public school here in Palawan. After weeks, I saw myself marching towards the stage, shaking hand with the heads of our school, getting my diploma and delivering a speech. Two months later, I was teaching in a private college. After more than one year, here I am, teaching in a public school, which also means getting up from bed even I haven’t slept enough, preparing lesson plans, meeting deadlines and dealing with students with different personality. To put it simply, a year ago I was a student, just following what my teachers instructed me to do and now I am already a teacher. Indeed, too many things have changed and I am being drowned by those changes. Is it the change which causes my dilemma or perhaps it is me who refuses to accept that I have grown up? If I could only cease time, I would.
I don’t have a choice though.
            Days ago, one of my former students was asking for some advice about love and school. We really had a lengthy conversation. I won’t go into details. The point is if that conversation happened one or two years ago, the advice that I gave her wouldn’t have the same impact. (Just so you know, I am just three years older than her).Of course, I had to think deeply before I react to what she was saying, not only to sound like “oldie” or “know-it-all teacher” but because I was “her teacher” and whatever I said she’d believe. I had to weigh everything and place myself into her shoes.  I really felt as problematic as her. I felt empathy.
            Empathy- as my teachers once told me – is one of the signs of maturity. Undeniably, therefore, I have grown old and have grown up.
And here is a plus to my age: After our conversation, after going over and over about her problems and listening to her complaints about life, I felt like I was 10 years older.
How old I am again?..hmmm..I can’t remember.Hehe.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Heroes Grow Tired Too (A Grandparents' Day Tribute)

 I grew up watching the Powerpuff girls, Darna and Captain Barbel on T.V. I really love the idea that they have super powers and how they can save other that people using it. When I was a kid that was my definition of a hero: someone who either flies or can lift a bus with one arm, someone who has a show that ends with an ever popular overused line that reminds the viewers that “Once again the day is saved. Thanks to…”

Way back in elementary, studying Philippine History changed my perspective of a hero. I learned that Rizal, Bonifacio and Mabini once lived in this country and did everything they could to win our freedom and independence. I thought of a hero as a selfless person devoting every walking moment of his life trying to fight for the welfare of the people.
Now that I am already old and have changed in many ways my idea of a hero has also changed. I stopped limiting my concept of heroes to cartoon characters fighting evil villains and ancestors who made history by defending our nation from abusive foreign powers. I gave another definition to the word hero. He or she is a person who in one way or another have inspired us, helped us and guided us. I have my own long list of heroes and I am glad to say that they are all still alive, except for one person.

* * *

Alfredo Bundal was his name but I called him Lolo. He was my mother’s father. He was not so tall. I think his height was about 5 feet and 2 inches - two inch taller than I am now. He was handsome. He looked like Vic Sotto, a local host and actor. Only he had wrinkles and a number of white hairs. He had a pointed nose. If only he was not my grandpa I might had mistook him as a Mexican. He also had a dark brown skin. It was because he had spent most of his life on the farm. It was also the reason why he had a strong physique and why at his 60’s to 70’s he could carry a sack of rice.
My Lolo was extremely different from my Lola. Lolo was patient, kind and soft-spoken while Lola easily lost her patience and talks loudly. Even though they are different they loved each other so much and were both good grandparents. They were also both loving person except that they had different ways of showing it. Lolo showed it by displaying kindness to his loved ones, while Lola showed it by reminding her loved ones of what she thought the right thing to do. More often than not, however, she would end up shouting when the one she was talking to did not pay attention. I remember that when I was younger than today, my Lola would always nag at my Lolo. She would use bisaya dialect, which I could not understand during those days because we spoke straight Filipino at home and only Lola used it occasionally, that was why I don’t had an idea what were they arguing about. Whenever Lola did that to him, he seemed not to hear her at all and never got angry with her. It made me asked my mother one day why he was like that. She answered that it was one proof that he loves ‘la very much so that as much as possible he wouldn’t wanted to hurt her. That is one thing that I admired about him - his love for her that never faded until his last breath.
Another thing that I admired about him is that he was a hard-working person and a Spartan. He was always working and always organized with his things. Having been raised in poverty, he knew how to wash clothes, cook and farm. Most of the time, he was making wood-work or repairing broken things that could still be used. He also loved repairing their two old houses – one was built beside our home the other one is in Brgy. Sta. Cruz. Most of all he loved to create chairs and table. That is why when he was still alive their dining room had lots of chairs. Most of those were made of plank, about more than one meter long with one pair of legs on its two ends. Each of those chairs could accommodate two to four persons.
I recall that when I was in grade 6; my classmates and I were grouped by our teacher in Technology Livelihood and Economics subject to make similar kind of chair. What else did I do but asked help from the master bench-maker - my Lolo. I asked for help but he and Papa made it all by themselves because they didn’t want me doing hard work like that. The chair was beautiful, especially when I and my group mates had finished painting it. It was well-built that is why it’s very conspicuous that we did not do it ourselves! My teacher reprimanded us and told us not to ask help from others again it we would had new project. When I got home I ran to my Lolo and told him what my teacher said. He didn’t like what he heard but didn’t get angry. He joked that he would go to school and would tell him that the work was too much for us grade school students. He said he would speak to him in English language so he might not be able to answer him back. He always boasted that he spoke English well.
Indeed, he spoke English well. That is why I had this impression when I was still young that he was well educated and financially privileged. But from time to time, through his stories, I learned that he was not able to earn a bachelor degree or even reached college because of poverty. He only finished 3rd year high school. That was the reason why he kept on telling us to value education and encouraged us to study well. So whenever I had a perfect score on a test I would sometimes tell it to him and he would give me a peso or two and with laughter and pride he would say, “Mana ka talaga sa akin.” With that mere statement a story-telling session would begin. The story of course would be about him - his life as a student. He would tell me how well he performed in school, how he would contradict or questioned his teacher when he saw flaws on what his teacher was teaching to them and how his teachers would be appalled when he spoke English fluently. More often than not, the story would not only about his school life. He would sometimes take a left turn and poof! I would find myself listening to his talks about another memory of him. Sometimes he would talk about his good old days on farm or his 20 years of public service as a barangay captain. At some other time it would about something else – but definitely it would also about him. Obviously, he was fond of talking about himself, of his memories. He seemed to never run out of story.
I loved listening to him, especially when he would act what he was telling. Whenever he did that I felt I was watching a show. There were times however that I wanted to sneak away from him when he was telling the same stories he already told me the last time we talked or when our story session had took long hours. Sometimes I did because I know he wouldn’t get angry. But more often than not I was held back by my sense of respect for him as an older person that I would end enduring the boredom I felt until he stopped speaking.
Nevertheless, there was one story that I really loved to hear from him when he was alive. It was the love story of him and Lola. Every time he would tell it to me or to others, he was always as animated as the last time he told it to us. He would tell us how a playboy like him was star stricken by my Lola’s beauty the first time he saw her, how he would walk for several kilometers just to give her fruits and vegetables and chickens or just to had a glance of his sexy legs, how Lola would ran away and hid from him, how he followed and searched her wherever she hid; and how he won her heart at the end. I called his stories clichés or “gasgas” but I preferred this one to call “the classic”.
Indeed Lolo was a caring and sweet person. He was sweet just as much as he loved eating sweet foods, especially sugar. He loved sugar that when he drank coffee he put two table spoons of sugar. When he ate green mangoes, he dipped it into sugar. He did the same with ripe mangoes. And when he would eat his meal, he would look for “Sprite”, a sweet soft drink, which he would not drink but would pour into his rice, instead. “Kakaiba!” I would usually tell him. I found his weirdness funny but not my mama and her siblings because they worried that, because of his weird practice, he would get diabetes which might cause him death.

* * *

That was what they thought but what actually happened was far more different than that. He did not die because of diabetes. Instead, he died because of an accident.
Two days before that accident he was very happy and energetic. He told for the nth time to us, his grandchildren the classic love story of Alfredo and Rosario. He too told us his life as a teen-ager and many more. He had told us the almost all the story about his whole life! The way he had told us those stories were very much different than before. He was very animated, much more animated than before. Even us, his grandchildren who were all present that day, were as animated as him as we listened. We laughed and laughed and laughed. No one got bore and left. We really had a happy time. We didn’t even care if we started at afternoon and stopped when it was dark.
The next morning, he bid us goodbye and went to Sta. Cruz. Before he left, he promised that he would finished as soon as possible the renovation of his house because we had said before we didn’t wanted to go there because it seemed haunted. He also promised that he would make bahay-bahayan - where we could play beside it. We were happy when he left. We never had an idea that that would be the last time that we would see him in well condition. And never did we think that his farewell would last forever.
Two ordinary days and nights passed after that day. On the third day, when I arrived home from school, I noticed that Mama and Papa weren’t around; even Uncle Boy and Lola were not there. Only Rj was there and my three small sisters. It was very unusual situation that I immediately sensed that there was something wrong. Then, Rj told me the news: Lolo was brought in the hospital by some barrio folks. I was not shocked but I did get worried. I thought it was just a discomfort; you know, the problems of most elderly people. Yet, we still went to the infirmary hurriedly after she I herd the news.
When we arrived at the Cooperative hospital, Papa who was waiting for us on the gate led us to Lolo’s room. On the entrance of the hospital I saw a nativity scene. And I said to myself, I know Jesus would not let bad things happen to my grandpa especially that Christmas was fast approaching. I knew everything were under control and was ok.
When we were in front of the room, we quietly opened the door and entered. The room seemed gloomy even if the lights were turned on. I didn’t know why but it made me felt sad and downcast. Then, I moved my eyes to the bed beside the door and I saw Lolo lying unconsciously. He looked like he was just sleeping soundly and seemed to enjoy his rest. On the bed beside his bed sat my Mama, Uncle and Lola, who were silent. With their somber and teary-eyed looks, I realized that the situation we were facing at that point was serious and huge like a mountain which I thought would be hard to overcome. I walked near to Mama who was holding her tears back firmly. I wanted to ask her what happened. I wanted to know every detail. But I was tamed with my thoughts that if she started to speak she would burst into tears. I wouldn’t want to see such scene and so I asked Papa, instead.
This was what happened as narrated to him by the barrio folks: Lolo had decided to cut the coconut tree beside his house because he wanted to make a garden on that area and also because he would use its lumber for the bahay-bahayan he was building and for his house’s renovation. However, there would be a problem. The tree if cut would fall on the house. So he asked help from some barrio folks and they did help him. They tied the tree with a rope and dragged it towards the opposite direction, away from the house while someone was cutting it. They were successful but the force of the tree was stronger that it also dragged them. They got scratches and wounds. But Lolo got the worse condition. He accidentally hit his head into something hard and has lost his consciousness.
I looked back at my Lolo. He was totally different from the Lolo I used to talk to, who talks a lot and full of zest. He was unanimated…speechless. I wanted to see him talk and tell stories again so I with everybody in the room waited for him to wake up and talk to us. Seconds, minutes and hours passed but he did not. When it was getting late, Papa brought us home. Back home, as we lay empty and sad on our bed, me and Rj remembered the story-telling session we had with him two nights before that night. Perhaps, we thought, the reason why it happened because we wouldn’t hear him telling stories again and that it took that long because it would be the last time we would had quality-time with him.
The next day, when our classes were finished, we went back on the hospital. We are hopeful he would gain consciousness and would talk. He did wake up but he did not talk. We waited for him to talk. We waited for him to call our names and to tell stories. This time we said that we were going to listen attentively. However, we know he wouldn’t. He was too weak and frail that he could not even move his pale lips. He couldn’t even eat. The Milk that was prescribed by his doctor served as his daily food and drink. Though that was his condition we had hope. But as days, weeks and months passed our flame of home got weak. Yet, we still waited patiently..
He grew weak and paler and thinner day after day until Christmas season came. I and Rj completed the Simbang Gabi. We wished to Baby Jesus to stop his sufferings so the pain his loved ones felt would cease, too. We said that may His will be done “immediately”. We said that if He wanted to make him better, make him better as soon as possible. And if he was not meant to be better then may He made him laid to rest. Apparently, our prayers did not reach Him because nothing happened. The line, I thought, might be very busy because there were too many wishes that He needed to grant, especially because Christmas was fast approaching. Children, I guessed, were the prioritized by Santa Claus and by Him.
Christmas day came. We heard no progress about his condition. We received no gift from Heaven. Our Christmas had been like a strand of bright color Christmas lights. With my Lolo unwell and struggling for his life at the hospital; it seems one bulb is ripped out and the entire strands of lights went black. At home, no one waited for the clock to strike 12, except me. When it was already 12, I woke everybody at home up. No one responded, except Papa. Both of us knew that mama and Rj was awake and was crying but we pretended that we did not know and ate the foods that we had prepared. After we had eaten quietly, Papa went to sleep as I remained awake to wash our dishes. While I did, I looked up at the sky to look at the fireworks. I cried and for the first and last time I could not see the essence of the celebration.
Another day passed. He continued to be speechless and not moving. He still could not call our names. But at least he already could recognize every one of us. We knew because his eyes showed it. It would spark whenever Lola or someone of his siblings or grandchildren went near him. We were glad to know that but still we thought we would be happier if he would talk and be able to move.
New Year’s Day came and passed without any news of progress about him. Then came the birthday of my father, the Valentines Day, Rj’s birthday and Holy Week, still he did not improve. Mama and her siblings had brought him home because we hadn’t enough money to pay the hospital bills anymore. Mama even had to run to our city Mayor to ask financial help. Though that was the case, we continued to hope. We continued to pray. On holy Friday - the day Jesus died on holy Cross on Catholic calendar - our house had been filled with cheers and laughter. Our spark of hope glowed in our hearts. Lolo talked again. He asked for a coffee, one of his favorites. Uncle made the drink for him. He drank it. And for the first time, after his accident we felt somehow at eased. After noon, I with my sisters rested in Mama and Papa’s bedroom. We were at peace and glad. When it was about two or three o’ clock, everybody in the house was panicking and were saying, “Patay na yata si Lolo.”(It seems Lolo was already dead.).Rj ran to Lolo’s house to know what was happening. She went back crying. I knew what she was going to say but I didn’t want to hear it. She looked at me with teary eyes and said with a tone of tidal wave that he was gone forever. I was sad but I did not cry. It is because I knew he was already in heaven where kindhearted people went when they die, with God and with the angels. I was so sure that he was going to be happy there.
For three days we waked on that house (My grandparents’ house built beside ours.). Then, we brought his corpse to Sta. Cruz.
On our arrival, we saw the house that he promised to renovate. It was already painted colorfully and beautifully. It was so much different from the haunted house us children feared before. Then we noticed the smaller house beside it. It was the bahay-bahayan! It was still unfinished. It only had posts and roof.
That was my Lolo. He was always true to his promise.
During the wake the family thought that God worked in mysterious way because he let Lolo renovate the house for He knew people would gather there in the future. He also made him made the bahay-bahayan because He knew lots of people would come and there would be a need for extra space.
After nine days of waking, at last came the funeral. I said to myself I wouldn’t cry. I know he wouldn’t want to see us sad. But reality crept in me: that that would be the last time I would saw him. It made my heart ache. I suppressed the emotion that I felt creeping in and held my tears back firmly. I saw my mom crying so loud and I felt more pain in my heart. It was the most painful I had ever felt. When I could no longer hold the tears, it streamed down my face. And when I took a last glance on him, I cried harder.
With that, the story of my hero ends. But the lessons he taught me and his memories remained in my mind and in my heart. I would never forget him and I promised myself that I’ll tell his stories to other people (which I already did). I also promised myself that as much as possible I would be patient, humorous, happy and positive like him. That I would inspire other people just like the way he has inspired me. He was my hero, still my hero and will be my hero forever. His death taught me lessons that not all heroes has super powers or a warrior; that they are not only those whose name were printed in History books; That those who have noble hearts and have inspired and helped even only one person could also be called heroes; that not all of them are famous but some are unsung; that not all of them died on a battle field but all of them died for a reason; and most importantly, that it is not true that they have long-lasting strength but they all grow tired, too. They also need to rest…

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

FORTRESS


More than a year ago, I and my classmates were asked by our teacher to describe each of our classmates. We wrote our descriptions in a small strips of paper and then gave it to the person we described.  There were many adjectives describing me that came out but most wrote approachable, friendly, natural, intelligent and sincere. I was happy scanning the strips of paper, realizing how my classmates were seeing me, but as I was doing it, I came across to a strip which said “FORTRESS”. A fortress ? I asked myself. This isn’t an adjective. This is a noun. I was confused, but what did strike me most was the word itself. I knew what the meaning of a fortress was and I knew that the word didn’t suit me. It flattered me of course knowing that someone saw me as a strong person, something impenetrable...something that protects a village.

Confounded, I searched for the person who wrote it. I found out who it was. It was Jay, who was the most profound among my classmates, the most observant and the most God-fearing. The fact that jay wrote it made me more flattered. I knew he mean it – that he didn’t simply wrote it just so he could write something.

I went to him and asked him why he wrote it. He simply looked at me and said that I knew the reason and simply pretending I did not understand. I didn’t ask further questions.

For months, I believed that I am a fortress – strong, impenetrable and protective.  Yes, I was. I believed so.

But 15 months later, I think, I am not a fortress anymore. I am weak.  I cry easily over petty things. I easily give up and easily give in. The fortress, who is now facing the world of work, has realized that the real world is much much bigger than the university world. She feels broken, like a wall shooed by a thundering storm. But she is picking her pieces again and hopefully, she prays, that she’ll be able to stand tall again after she redeemed herself, through God’s help of course.:-)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

21

I just celebrated my birthday last May 17 and yes, just like what the title of this article is shouting, I just turned 21 years old – a clumsy 21-year-old single lady. 

I celebrated my birthday simply. I woke up in the morning, opened my phone to read greetings from friends. In the afternoon, before going to school (by the way, I’m having my post graduate education) I prepared the foods we will be distributing to the kids who were having their bible study in our church ‘cause its part of my celebration. When everything is okay, I went to school and facilitated the discussion about K+12 Basic Education Program of DepEd. When I got home I was so tired. I eat like a king when I ate the food my mother prepared for me – pancit!

When I was about to rest, friends came to greet and give gifts. It was a surprise really. I was so used to the fact that people were just too busy every summer that no one would care to come to our house to greet every time my birthday came. However, this time it’s different! I’m not used to receiving gifts also. Thanks to Dainiel, Orly, Marck, Reymarck and Gretchen!!!!They made my day unique.

Well, enough of narrating. Let’s go to the things I want to say.

Now that I am 21, there are 21 things which make me happy being 21….

1            I am 21! Why should I be happy being 21? A palm reader told me once that I won’t live long. I thought I am going to die at 20 but hey I am 21 now! How lucky I am…hehe..Not that I believe her but not everyone were able to reach this age. Some people die at 20. Some at 10. Some don’t even have a chance to live. So I feel blessed with the fact that I am 21!
2              I have supporttive and loving parents. I always say this and I am saying this again. I am happy that I have the best parents who give me wings to fly but clip those when I have flown too far.
3           I    have a very good older sister (I am the second sibling). She’s close to perfect for me. And although sometimes I get pressure when people compare me to her she is still my role model. I super love her.
4            I have 3 little sisters who sweep away my tiredness every time I got home from work and who always make laugh and smile.
5                I am being loved…by many.
6                I found my best real friends who stab me in front and genuinely care for and love me. They are Jacquilyn, Jeanne Dainielle, Gretchen and Marck.
7                 I am a teacher. It is my dream to become one and I am now.
8                 I am not yet too old to realize my other dreams.
9                 I have grown strong after facing many problems for the past 21 years.
10             I am not ugly. Ha-ha…though I am not pretty at least I’m not too ugly.
11             I am healthy.
12             I can write, not write well, but write.
13             I’ve got a good brain. I ain’t genius but it functions well.
14           I finished my tertiary education with flying colors. Some don’t even have a chance to enter college.
15             I look young for my age. J I always got discounts in a cab ride because of that.
16               I live in a comfortable house now. My family used to live in slums I thought we would stay in that place forever.
17           I am not VIP but I am important in the life of my students.
18         I live in a city which is not too hustle-bustle that people have time to pause and talk with friends they meet along the way. My city also has great spots for tourist and for us locales. It is also not away from forest that I still breathe fresh air.
19       I’ve got a job and a professional at this young age. I am earning too and so I can buy whatever I want and help my family also.
20          I am so blessed and…
21         God loves me. (Greatest gift of all )

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mother's Day

They say that I am a replica of my mother - her "mini me". We got the same height(but I am an inch taller!),same eyes and nose, same dimples on the cheek and the same profession. We even have the same month of birthday-May - and the same zodiac sign - Taurus. We both prefer salty foods over sweets and loves cooking and I think, we are both not good at it.

But despite these similarities, we do have a lot of misunderstanding. I don't know why but part of my growing up,I guess;but it doesn't mean I don't love her. I maybe  her most stubborn child but it doesn't mean I love her less than the way my siblings love her. I love her so much!!!I just can't tell it to her straightly...even on this very special occasion. Just the thought of  saying it to her tomorrow makes me cringe but I'll do it anyway!Tomorrow...I will. I promise.

It doesn't have to be a problem. In school, when I am in college, i was the most fluent debator of our class, even in our college. I speak with eloquence...hmmm..that's what they say. I even delivered the graduation speech, in front of 1,500 graduates with their parents and other audience. You see, I am a good speaker!..

I am not bragging. I just would like you to see the comparison. Saying "I love You" to my mom should be a lot  more easier than speaking in a huge crowd.

Now I am thinking,How many daughters have the same dilemma with me?and why?

I guest the answer is "many". Millions maybe and for different reasons.

The number may reduce tomorrow. You and i. Let's do it!:-)

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL MOTHERS!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Thoughts On Love




...Lyrics from songs that I think best reflect my attitude about L-O-V-E...


I’m afraid to fly
And I don’t know why
I’m jealous of the people who
are not afraid to die
It’s just that I recall
Back when I was small
Someone promised that they’d catch me
And then they let me fall
-Falling By Sarah Geronimo

Why Can't it be
Just a pathway full of roses
Leading to a sunset view
With the one you've always dream of waits
Why Can't it be
It was like a movie scene the way I fell for you
Only you, didn't fall
Now it's not like the movies at all
Woo... Oh... Ohhh...

Should I kept my heart shut?
Should I've been more patient?
Should I kept an eye on my addiction?
What was I expecting?
Did I have a vision of a scene, that only lives in fiction
Now I know that you are not
Gonna be my co-star
And I start to wonder why...
-Not Like the Movies by KC Concepcion
I could tell you his favorite colors green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He stands there then walks away
My God, if I could only say
I'm holding every breathe for you
-I'd Lie by Taylor Swift

Maybe I was naïve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance.
My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love you had to fight to have the upperhand.
......

I’m not a princess
This ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

-White Horse by Taylor Swift



....Not that i do not believe.It's just that I believe that in this complicated world,finding true love is quite hard and happy endings seldom happens. I also fear rejection.That is why I don't let myself totally fall and do not open up my heart to anyone....